I haven't written much about body size positivity in recent
weeks and I haven't posted to this blog because I couldn't figure out how to do so
without offending several friends who were already upset with me for joining
FXB Bellevue (Bellevue, Nebraska). I've had
several disheartening conversations with them and they always end with me just
feeling the need to walk away because I wasn't getting through. But, I feel
strongly it's important for me to address their concerns. So if I offend them
- so be it. They weren't the friends I thought they were. I will post this to
my blog as well for the few readers I have there.
I first want to say that body size positivity is still very
important to me. I still love my body. I still believe wholeheartedly that each
of us as individuals deserves the right to live in the body that feels good to
us without criticism from anyone else. Whether you are a small person or a
larger person...it is your choice to be who you are and be happy. No one
elses!!!
The three things that have been said to me is that 1.) I am
a sell out and giving in to society's pressures to be thin. 2.) I must have
lied about being happy with me and who I am. 3.) It's revenge on my last
several failed relationships and that I'm doing this to get back at them. 4.)
Why Farrell's? They are just as bad as the biggest loser. 5.) Don't lose my
butt. (Read to the end to get the gist of that one. ;-))
So let's talk about that. PLUS model magazine's theme this
month is "Love your Body" and one of the editor's made a great
statement about what it means in their theme to love your body.
"Celebrating strength and confidence in a society that wants to change us
and fit us into a perfect unattainable package, standing strong and embracing
our bodies, breaking stereotypes, and loving our bodies and spreading a message
of positive body image, no matter what our size!" That's a really great
statement about who I am.
1. I'm not selling out. I don't have a desire to suddenly
fit into society's mold for me. I'm still me. I want to be healthier, have
better mobility, and hope to reduce the pain I've had to live with battling
fibromyalgia in recent years. I don't want to be thin. I love my curves. I do
want to lose some weight, but an attainable amount. I want to tone, build
muscle and be able to go running with my friends. Go with my daughter on some
of the adventures she wants to achieve. And maybe avoid of some the health
issues that could come up in the coming years. Hopefully, if the mass on my
body is reduced by even a small percentage Fibro won't have such a control hold
on my life. I want to live my life actively and curvy. I know there is alot of
hope and faith in these statements. There are no promises that I will be able
to improve many of these things by these choices. But I have made the choice to
try...for me.
2.) I didn't lie. I'm still happy being me. I just decided
for the reasons stated in number 1. I wanted to try for better health and
mobility. I still hate fat shaming and the crap that happens to people who live
life at a larger size. I still hate that people get picked on for being skinny
and that people tell them to eat and put some meat on their bones. I still
stand tall and proud that no one should ever tell another person that they need
to diet or that they need to eat more.
3.) It's not about revenge. Yes, my 2nd ex-husband is a
total shit and narcissistic sociopath but that has nothing to do with this.
Would there be some pleasure to one day see him and be smaller and curvier and
rub it in face that I am a success, worth it, always have been and always will
be!!! Sure there would. But, that isn't what this is about. If it happens to be
side effect in the future that would knock him on his ass. Great! But, if not
my life still goes on happy and free to be me.
It's not about my last so-called "relationship."
He is a lifelong friend and always will be- he is my best friend, my Dawson.
What happened with us and why it didn't work had nothing to do with looks and
who I am as a person. He is one of my greatest supports and always will be. And
it wouldn't be revenge for him...he celebrates every muscle ache, every moment
of exhaustion, every moment I am excited about the changes I am making to my
being - because as my friend he believes in me. He holds me when I am exhausted
beyond belief. He rubs my shoulders when I can't lift my arms above my head. He
listens when I whine about it, when I vent, and when I say "what a great
workout - X instructor kicked my butt today". Whatever I accomplish out of
this he will be celebrating with me. There is nothing in the definition of
revenge that I know of that fits any of these things.
4.) No Farrell's is NOTHING like The Biggest Loser. I want
to get that straight. Farrell's is real life. TBL is a TV show, and a bad one
at that. At Farrell's, every single person who goes there is setting and
attaining goals for themselves. It is an amazing environment that pushes each
person to find their own level 10. They push you and you push yourself to find
it for your own successes-for your transformation. There isn't a success meter
that everyone is held to.
Yes, it's a commitment. But, one that I think if someone
wants to make it, they absolutely should. Some people who go there are
incredibly fit and their goals are about muscle mass, others who are their do
it for weight loss, others for toning. The coaches are amazing and everyone is supportive.
In 3 weeks I have had more encouragement than in 3 years at 24 hr fitness,
Anytime Fitness, or Lakeside. Not one single instance of fat shaming, compared
to the crap, snarky comments, criticisms, and dirty looks given there. TBL
feigns support while behind the scenes belittling, taunting, depriving,
humiliating, and being about as unkind as possible to people who just want a
miracle.
Nutrition is a big deal. Farrell's wants you to eat. You
develop a meal plan and set goals for protein and carb's and you have to drink
water. They encourage healthy foods that benefit your body. Food is Fuel. If
you don't eat, you can't push yourself to your limits. TBL starves and
dehydrates their contestants. Many of those people come home with horrible
eating disorders and instead of actually achieving changing results they come
home battling depression and worse issues than they went to the show with.
Farell's is about transformation, and that's what I'm doing.
I'm transforming from the lady who lives with massive amounts of pain and
immobility. Who gave up ballroom dancing (Something I dearly love) because of
the pain and not finding the right instructor in this area. I'm working to
transform my life to an active one. Maybe one day I will dance again.
5.) The last one statement I want to address. The person who
begged me not to lose my butt. Seriously, the one thing I think we can agree
and count on is there is plenty of it, it won't go away. And with all this
working out one day it might even be a little bit cute and you can continue
watching it as I saunter of into the sunset every single day of my body
positive life. (Yes I am laughing hysterically as type this one. Because this
friend is such a butt man, he will watch anything that moves.)
So I close with all the positives. I'm still me. I'm happy
with this choice. I still believe in body positivity and I'm beautiful and
amazing. If you are still offended, then don't be my friend. It's just not
going to work out.
